In general story terms, your idea is promising; that said, it is essentially a very 'passive' narrative; there's lots of looking, sighing and thinking and watching. Obviously this is due in part to the word 'melancholy' - which dictates a certain mood and pace, but I think you need to think in terms of the potentiality for 'animation'. If you're story is going to be as quiet and as observational at this, then the focus on 'acting' and the ability of the lines you draw to communicate emotion is paramount. The scene in which the other ladders mock the old ladder is an opportunity, however, for something more dynamic - a change in pace and editing, for example. I think you should seek to stage this scene as immersively and 'from the old step-ladder's POV' as possible, as opposed to simply 'showing it' from a middle distance perspective. You've also got an 'elderly gentleman' in the mix... We've talked before about what this means for you in terms of technical challenge (i.e., you've now got to animate an old man as effectively as your melancholy stepladder!). I still think there is a way to stage your story where all human participants are somehow implied. You know, it just occurred to me as I write this, that you could have a slightly more 'melancholy' Act 3. You could have the old step-ladder picked at the end of Act 2 (after all the new ones have gone) as you've written in your script (we don't see by whom) and then in Act 3, you just see someone's feet going up the ladder and you cut to a back view of a man finishing off the painting of a sign above the shop that reads 'More New Ladders in Stock!' - and then your final shot is the ladder back in the store cupboard *sob*
Again - I'm only thinking of you having to animate an elderly gentlemen, and also show him 'empathising' with the old ladder etc (which anyway wouldn't be for sale, right?).
I just think you should give your 3rd Act a bit more time - with a view to diminishing further the role of a human performer - unless you're so confident in terms of walk-cycles and human anatomy that you're positively aching to include a human character...
OGR 20/03/2012
ReplyDeleteEvening Ollie,
In general story terms, your idea is promising; that said, it is essentially a very 'passive' narrative; there's lots of looking, sighing and thinking and watching. Obviously this is due in part to the word 'melancholy' - which dictates a certain mood and pace, but I think you need to think in terms of the potentiality for 'animation'. If you're story is going to be as quiet and as observational at this, then the focus on 'acting' and the ability of the lines you draw to communicate emotion is paramount. The scene in which the other ladders mock the old ladder is an opportunity, however, for something more dynamic - a change in pace and editing, for example. I think you should seek to stage this scene as immersively and 'from the old step-ladder's POV' as possible, as opposed to simply 'showing it' from a middle distance perspective. You've also got an 'elderly gentleman' in the mix... We've talked before about what this means for you in terms of technical challenge (i.e., you've now got to animate an old man as effectively as your melancholy stepladder!). I still think there is a way to stage your story where all human participants are somehow implied. You know, it just occurred to me as I write this, that you could have a slightly more 'melancholy' Act 3. You could have the old step-ladder picked at the end of Act 2 (after all the new ones have gone) as you've written in your script (we don't see by whom) and then in Act 3, you just see someone's feet going up the ladder and you cut to a back view of a man finishing off the painting of a sign above the shop that reads 'More New Ladders in Stock!' - and then your final shot is the ladder back in the store cupboard *sob*
Again - I'm only thinking of you having to animate an elderly gentlemen, and also show him 'empathising' with the old ladder etc (which anyway wouldn't be for sale, right?).
I just think you should give your 3rd Act a bit more time - with a view to diminishing further the role of a human performer - unless you're so confident in terms of walk-cycles and human anatomy that you're positively aching to include a human character...